Funny business at NRO

Usually a title like that means they're trying something deceptive, but they've been a little off-kilter this week. It's to the point where Jonah Goldberg is actually amusing.

I think James Baker and Dick Cheney should take Bush out to the woods around Camp David. After 24 hours in a sweat lodge, he should be given only a loin cloth, a hunting knife and a canteen of water. Bush should then set out to track and kill a black bear, after which he should eat its still beating heart so he can absorb its spirit. He should then fly back to Washington in Marine 1. His torso still scratched from the bear's claws, his face bloodied and steaming in the November chill, he should immediately give a press conference at which he throws the bearskin on the front row of the press corps, completely enveloping Helen Thomas, declaring, "I'm not going anywhere."

I'd pay to watch him try. I'm convinced it would be safe enough since Bush is probably too inept to find a bear. But what I want to know, is how much of a Bush worshipper do you have to be actually believe Bush would win? Duh, smart money on the bear! Even if the bear is as lazy and stupid as Cheney's farm-raised quail, Bush's chances are roughly zero. That having been said, it is true that Cheney has put Bush up to some really stupid shit, but he doesn't need a sweat lodge to have irrational visions. He's practically spiritwalking already. Still Jonah's fantasy is impressive. That's how you get a job in conservative punditry- you gotta think outside the box, even at 6:49 AM.

"Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." - Alice in Wonderland

Sooo, I have a fantasy too. Instead of Camp David, my version has Bush in Iraq. Instead of a loincloth and a knife, he gets standard infantry equipment. Instead of hunting bear, he's on a patrol outside the green zone. See: impossible thoughts are contagious.