"Fixing" the War Crimes Act

Not to bring up old shit, but I'd wanted to write about this before I left for Bermuda. While on the topic, I'll mention that while no one at the wedding had a problem with Americans, a few people expressed critical views of our administration. Very very critical.


Via Washington Post, it looks like Bush wants a "ammendment" (retraction) of portions of 1990's War Crime laws. The purpose is to reduce the chances that our institutions will be penalized for not following them.

Left off the list would be what the Geneva Conventions refer to as "outrages upon [the] personal dignity" of a prisoner and deliberately humiliating acts -- such as the forced nakedness, use of dog leashes and wearing of women's underwear seen at the U.S.-run Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq -- that fall short of torture.

"People have gotten worried, thinking that it's quite likely they might be under a microscope," said a U.S. official. Foreigners are using accusations of unlawful U.S. behavior as a way to rein in American power, the official said, and the amendments are partly meant to fend this off.

I soo want to hear the debate on this one.

Argument 1:
Dear Sirs and Madams of Congress,

We need to rewrite the 1996 War Crimes Act to reflect post 9-11 reality. The simple truth is that we are at war with an insidious enemy, an enemy who is evil to the core and wants to destroy us and all we hold dear. These evil terrorists have no remose and are utterly devoid of any human qualities. They are more demon than human. These evil demons of Islamofascim are the greatest threat the nation has ever faced. They are a bigger threat than the Communists, the Nazis, and homosexuals all combined. Fortunately we have discovered a way to combat Commie-Nazi gay demons, and that is to strip them naked, place women's underwear on their head and make them form a pyramid.

Without this crucial tool in our arsenal, the fight on terrorevilradicalbadness will be doomed. Some might say that these measures have never been required in the past, that our forefathers would look upon us with shame for treating people this way. Some might point out that as recently as the eighties we were involved in a Cold War and nobly faced down our enemies in a world perpetually on the brink of human annhiliation without resorting to such treatments. But those people are on the side of the islamo-fascist commie-nazi gay demon enemies! If the only way to protect the world from anarchy and keep from shitting our beds in rank cowardly fear is to use women's underwear as a weapon then we must find the resolve to do it!

Thank-you and God bless.

Argument 2:
Dear Sirs and Madams of Congress,
It has come to our attention that it might be determined in a court of law that we're been committing War Crimes right and left. If it's not too much trouble, could you pass some legislation to cover our ass? Thanks. Oh by the way, we're not running for elections anymore, but Congress is in a few months. Step in line quick, because if we go down we're taking you with us.

Which sounds most likely to you?

Alright, while on the toture theme- the honest truth is I'd rather people be stripped naked and stacked like a pancake than be waterboarded, or stripped naked, sprayed with water and put in a 50 degree room. But on top of the message it sends the world when we back out of legislation based on the Geneva Conventions, on top of ecouraging mistreatment of our POWs, and on top of the implication that the government should be allowed to first break the law and then use that as impetus to force a change in it, I doubt this stuff is all that effective. You really think these hardcore, "trained in terror camps to lie and use the media against us" terrorists are going to crack over underwear games? We might get the less sophisticated bystander or accidental pick-up types to break with psychosexual mindfucks, but do those people know anything useful?

As a bigger point, what kind of assholes don't follow a War Crime bill that's only a decade old and then go back to the very people who passed it and ask for a repeal? Those criminal embarassments are not making the US a better place, and their rank ineptitude implies they probably aren't making us any safer either.

Once upon a time the greatness of the US was self-evident in that we not only took the moral high road, we owned it and protected it with the force of law. This? This is pathetic.